Dear Cleveland:

You cannot drive. For shit. Yeah, it's snowing. I see. Right. It's Cleveland. It snowed last year, it's gonna snow next year. It's not bubblegum kisses, it isn't frogs falling from the goddam sky. You DONT HAVE to drive 22mph on the highway. (Unless all four tires on your LeBaron are bald, in which case, get your life together.) Here's a Good Driver's tip: if you're in the fast lane and there's someone behind you, listen closely, k: YOU"RE NOT GOING FUCKING FAST ENOUGH. "I'm going 65, that's fast enough." NO IT's NOT! You're going 70mph? Not fast enough. Doesn't matter. Get the fuck out of the way. They're acutally trying to pass you. How fast they're going isn't your concern. Slide your can to the lane to the right of you.

Also: this just in: you cannot get into the turning lane 4 blocks back, speed through it and almost slam into the car that is trying to merge. You're a dick.

In heavy traffic, when we're all doing the zipper idea, you then me, then you, then me, and you speed thru the open lane with the hopes of merging later..just fucking forget it. You think you're the only GENIUS that thought of not waiting in line..? We all enjoy slowly, painfully waiting our turn in line?

Signed,
Good Drivers